Reflections

This past week has been a hard one. Not just for me, but for a lot of people. I'm starting to realize that things in this life aren't perfect, but they are what we make of them. It's about how we choose to react to our situations. We are allowed the opportunities to make decisions, but we are not allowed to choose our consequences. Pretty simple concept that I have been "taught" for as long as I can remember. You'd think after 30 years I would have gotten it. You'd think more people would have gotten it. But most of us don't remember it on a daily basis. At least not until we are forced to.

Sometimes consequences (however harsh they may seem at the time) are there for our own growth. I'm choosing to do a lot of growing these days. Not because I HAVE TO, but because I WANT to. I'm WANTING to change my life for the better. I'm WANTING to be happier. I'm WANTING to be a better mother, a better wife, a better worker...I'm WANTING this that and more. But it all takes work. And guess what? I'm in for the long haul to do it. I've got through the whole gamat of emotions about it too, especially knowing how hard it is to change. I've felt everything from pure anger, to sadness, to confusion, and I've finally settled on this...

I'm really lucky to be taking a class right now that I'm thinking is going to help me make some positive changes for myself over the next few months. I signed up for it for "easy credits" for school, because hey, after last semester's C- in Biology, I needed a couple credits to boost my GPA a little. haha. And I'm finding that the more I open up to try and learn, the better I'm feeling. Let's cross our fingers I don't drive that teacher crazy asking so many questions about deep down change.

 Also, I'm reading a book for work called, "The Anatomy of Peace".

I was really annoyed when Bill (my boss) told us (my team) that he wanted us to read it. Why the crap would I read a self help book for work (even though they bought it for me a while ago.. and no it wasn't just ME they bought it for, it was a lot of us.) I seriously looked at him in disbelief knowing how bombarded all of us are with work stuff. My response to him was, "I'll read it, but only if you pay me hours for reading it." He said fine. Well ok.. I'll take a little reading to earn some money. Who wouldn't? And then it came time for me to actually read it. And guess what? The book makes sense. And makes me feel better about some things in life. It shows me how often I treat people as objects (especially at work) rather than people. For example I tend to look at clients as part of a case, not as individuals who are actually needing some help. It's kind of been an eye opener. And I'm grateful that Bill (althought I probably wont tell him this for a good while because I hate it when Bill is right) got me to read it. I'm not even going to bill time spent reading it for work. I highly suggest this book to anyone who might be trying to view their life a little better every day.